What is the secret of crying?

Kazi Abul Monsur##

As children, we often cried when we were punished by our parents or teachers. Even now, we cry due to emotional stress, pain, or the loss of a parent. But I don’t see today’s children cry anymore. They are stubborn. Technology has taken away the emotional response of crying from them. Sometimes I think, I should make my children cry for any reason, once in a while. It is important for them to cry sometimes. Everyone should encourage their children to cry, as it will strengthen their vitality. The emotions that are disappearing from them must be revived at any cost, or else, they won’t even cry at the death of their parents. Emotions have now seeped into television advertisements.

The first thing a human infant does after birth is cry. Human life begins with crying. The complex mystery of tears is still unknown to scientists. Research continues. No one has yet figured out how tears flow like rain from some hidden place. Humans cry for many reasons: sorrow, pain, emotional pressure, stress, insult, humiliation, and more. Once upon a time, scientists believed that people cried because tears cleaned the dirt from their eyes. People cried to protect their eyes from dirt-related damage. But now, neither poets, scientists, nor psychologists believe this. However, scientists have explained tears through the three layers of the eye. There are three layers on the surface of the eye. The innermost layer is called the mucin layer. Tear particles are produced by cells inside the eye. The mucin layer spreads the tear particles over the cornea. The top layer is controlled by small glands that make it oily. Scientists believe that this oily layer controls tears.

A person blinks about 16 times a minute. This helps gather dirt inside the eye to the corners, where there are drainage channels. A small amount of tears carries away the dirt. However, when someone cries heavily, the process is different. The lacrimal glands become active, and tears flow like a stream, running down the cheeks and sometimes through the nose. The question of why people cry due to emotional reasons is a common one for many, including you and me. In 1972, a biochemistry student named William Frey was the first to study tears. In 1979, he first mentioned that tears, although they appear to be just water, are not. Tears caused by pain, emotion, or sorrow contain more protein than regular tears. To determine how often people cry, why they cry, and how they feel after crying, Frey conducted a study. He asked 331 people, aged between 18 and 75, to write detailed accounts of their crying. It was found that, on average, men cry 1.14 times a month, while women cry 5.3 times. After crying, 85% of women and 73% of men felt better. About 6% of healthy women and 46% of healthy men did not cry at all in 30 days. The study included tears of joy as well as sorrow. Men often cry while watching something emotional on TV, radio, or in movies. Similarly, men cry due to personal relationships. For women, the main reason for crying is also personal relationships or separation from loved ones. Most women’s tears are driven by emotion. About 49% cry from sorrow, 21% from happiness, and 10% from anger. However, Frey noted that men do not cry out of anger.

Scientists believe that there is a link between crying and diseases like ulcers and colitis. A psychotherapist at Petersburg University, Margaret T. Crepeau, conducted a study on this. She surveyed 137 people, both healthy and those suffering from ulcers and colitis. It was found that healthy people cry more and enjoy crying without feeling ashamed. An ulcer patient remarked, “I know crying is good. I need to cry. But I can’t, because of shame. If someone sees me crying, I feel weak. Anxiety surrounds me, and I lose control. Not being able to cry often makes me depressed.” A healthy woman wrote, “Crying keeps me from exceeding the limits of sadness, depression, and anger. It helps me get rid of my inner turmoil.” Another person commented, “Crying is good for the soul.”

Why do women cry more? In response, Frey mentioned that in society, it is not considered wrong for women to cry. But when an 8- or 10-year-old boy, let alone an adult man, cries, people often say, “Oh, a boy this big is crying?” Such remarks over time have reduced the tendency for men to cry. On the other hand, women easily cry due to mental stress, pressure, or various reasons. Later, they try to suppress their distress through addiction or other means. Therefore, women suffer more from stress-related illnesses than men. According to Frey, women cry more because, during childhood, boys and girls have the same crying pattern. However, after puberty, the pattern changes, and women cry four times more. A hormone called prolactin is present in equal amounts in boys and girls before the age of 12, but after puberty, between the ages of 12 and 18, the level increases by 60% in girls compared to boys. This hormone is related to milk production in women, but Frey also believes it is closely related to crying.

It has now become an eternal truth that crying is beneficial for our body and mind. Crying is a natural physical process. So, there is no shame in crying due to various emotions. Shedding tears can bring relief from many ailments. As Charles Dickens said, “Crying clears the inside, exercises the eyes, cleans the impurities from the eyes, and keeps them soft. So, keep crying.”